Abducted
by bitezombiesback
Summary: I wake up naked in the Normandy. Where are my clothes? Why is it so dark outside? Am I losing my mind? T for language. This is mostly just for fun so far.
1. Chapter 1

It was a normal day. I woke up in the middle of the morning and searched for something to eat, rubbing my tired eyes. Ate breakfast. Went to work. Came back home exhausted and tired, stripping my clothes off and falling into my bed. It was the routine I've known for years. It's what I was used to. Nothing strange had happened that particular day, and the vague, fatigued memory of thrashing around in my blankets to find the perfect spot on the mattress to curl up on was present in the back of my mind.

Imagine my surprise at waking up nude on a couch with just a blanket thrown over me and an unfamiliar pair of eyes on me.

Luckily I was not very self-conscious about my body, but being the only naked person in the room had caused me to pull the blanket tightly around myself as I sat up.

"Uh, are you okay?" the man in front of me asked, his brow wrinkled.

He looked in his late twenties, with a buzz-cut and light brown eyes. He needed a shave, but otherwise he wasn't bad looking. He wore red and black armor that read "N7" just below the shoulder.

"Ugh. How much did I drink last night? I seriously don't remember any..." I trailed off as I spotted the alien, standing six-foot-something behind Beard Guy. His mouth pieces moved a little bit when he saw me staring. He was wearing armor too.

"Oh. It's Halloween already? That explains the alcohol." I looked pointedly at Alien Guy. "No offense, but your Alien costume kinda sucks. It's really detailed, just doesn't look quite right. The head piece is supposed to be a lot longer than that. Where did you buy it?"

Beard Guy looked back at Alien Guy and they exchanged a shrug. I stared at them both warily before it hit me.

"Oh, hell no. Just because I have the red hair does _not_ mean I'll be Sigourney Weaver. Screw you guys. Who are you, anyway? Travis' friends?"

I stood up, sheet still covering me, and walked over to poke Alien Guy in the face.

"Travis, is that you in there? The costume's actually pretty cool, but I still don't think it looks like Alien. Did you order it online or something? Holy shit, are those fake teeth?"

I was in the process of tugging on the dangling antennae things on the side of Alien Guy's mouth when he stammered around my hands, "Sh-Shepard, what is she - ow - doing?"

Beard Guy just stared at us with his eyes all wide. Creepy.

"Okay, fine," I sighed, releasing the surprisingly realistic mask. "I'm in. Where's my Sigourney Weaver costume? I wish you guys would have woken me up so I could put my clothes on before you kidnapped me. Just because it's Halloween doesn't mean you get to act like jerks."

"Kidnapped you?" Beard Guy repeated, his eyebrows shooting up. "We found you stark naked and comatose in a geth base. We ran out of room in our med-bay because a lot of my crew took a lot of damage trying to get you out of there safely. We couldn't just leave you there to die. Then you wake up, talking nonsense about some ancient holiday and saying we kidnapped you? I don't even understand half of what you're saying. Also, please don't assault my men anymore. I don't know much about turian culture, but I'm pretty sure you just made Garrus feel very uncomfortable. What colony did you come from, anyway?"

I stared at him. What the hell was he talking about?

"What is geth? You guys aren't Travis' friends, are you?"

He shook his head slowly, and I began to worry.

"Where are we? I'd like to go home now. I'm probably late for work, so..."

I went to the window and drew the shades to get an idea of what time of day it was, but froze at the sight. Total darkness except for the stars. We were in space? No way. That wasn't even possible.

"This has got to be the creepiest, worst prank in the history of the world. I want to go home. Now."

I said it in the firmest voice I could manage, and the two exchanged a worried look.

"Just tell us where your home is," Alien Guy reasoned. He was using some sort of voice harmonizer, I noticed.

"Los Angeles."

I wasn't sure why I told them the city instead of the street name. Maybe it was because I didn't want them to be able to find my house. In fact, I'd just walk home or take a cab. These guys were starting to freak me out.

"But what planet?" Alien Guy asked patiently.

"No. Fuck you. I'm not playing this sick game."

I stormed out of the room, trying to hide the fact that I was getting a bit scared. Who knew what these weirdos were planning to do to me - or had already done to me? I was already naked, after all. My skin crawled at the thought. Maybe I should move out of L.A., I thought to myself. Too many perverts around.

Outside of the room was a hallway with lots of doors. I chose the path that curved to the right, trying to find the nearest exit. This was a house, right? Or some sort of office building?

I almost ran straight into the black-haired woman before me.

"Sorry," we both said automatically, then stared at each other.

"Well, I'm glad you're finally awake! Shepard just sent a message to my omni-tool, so I was headed this way to bring you a change of clothes. My name is Miranda."

She handed me the outfit.

"Er - thanks, but I was just leaving. Maybe you could show me the way out."

She stared at me, putting a concerned hand on my forehead.

"Nope, no fever. Dear, do you know where you are?"

"No, I have no idea. I'm just trying to get back to my house. You seem nice, but honestly, you're all scaring the hell out of me."

"Well, I'd be happy to brief you, then. You're on the Normandy SR-2. We're in Alliance space. Where is your colony? We'll take you home right away."

"I live in Los Angeles, just drop me off anywhere and I - did you seriously just say space?"

The woman nodded slowly at me. "Los Angeles is on Earth, right? There's a Mass Relay nearby, so we can have you back there in a few hours."

I took a deep breath.

"Okay. Let's say for just a second that I was going to play along. Alright, we're in space. Fine, you're going to take me home. But what is the point of all this? Why are you trying to convince me we're not on Earth? Did Travis put you up to this? Am I on one of those hidden-camera shows right now?"

"I think we should get you to the med-bay," she murmured, gently pulling my arm.

"No! I want to leave. Let me go home!"

I pulled my arm out of her grip.

"Chakwas! I need you out here!" she yelled nervously.

The woman who had called herself Miranda made no move to touch me again, but she was giving me a strange look. A door slid open somewhere behind me and a woman of around fifty emerged, her eyes focusing on me quickly. Quite the sight I made in only the damn blanket.

"Ah! I see our guest is awake. What seems to be the problem, Miranda?"

"She needs a psych evaluation immediately. I don't think she understands that we're in space. Maybe some sort of post-traumatic stress disorder, or amnesia even?"

"Right this way," the older woman gestured for me to follow her.

I shook my head. I knew my eyes were giving me away, that I was scared out of my wits, but I was beyond caring.

Beard Guy emerged from the room I'd come from and stared at all of us, as if the situation hadn't been weird enough.

"Commander, the poor thing is terrified. She has no idea where we are. I asked Chakwas to give her a psych evaluation."

He pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. "Alright. Just do whatever she wants, within reason. Maybe let her put some clothes on? I'm sure she can't feel comfortable being naked in the middle of the mess hall."

"Is that what you'd like, dear?" Miranda asked gently. "To put some clothes on?"

I nodded gravely.

"Will you come with me to my office so you can get dressed?"

I nodded again, and followed her mutely to a room close by where she shut the door behind us and turned around to let me dress in the clothes I was still holding.

"Sorry we didn't have any hospital gowns," she apologized. "We aren't exactly accustomed to having guests on board."

"So assuming all this is real... How did I not know about it until now? Is NASA relocating people to other planets in secret?"

"NASA?" Miranda frowned, still facing the wall. "That sounds familiar. What is it?"

I gaped at her. "How do you not know what NASA is? It's the United States' space administration. You know, they send rockets into space. Fifty years ago they sent the first man to walk on the moon. They've made a lot of progress since then, but moving people to other planets seems... Unlikely."

She whirled around to stare at me. "Fifty years? It's been over two hundred years since Neil Armstrong walked on the moon. It's 2185."

"That's not..." I trailed off. She seemed as surprised as I felt. "Okay, maybe it's not you people who have the problem. There's definitely something wrong with me. I think I'm ready for that psych evaluation now."

"Good idea," Miranda muttered. "If you think it's 2019, there's definitely more going on in that head than a little PTSD."

"2013," I corrected automatically.

"Yeah, okay, just... follow me, dear."

She sounded patronizing, but I didn't really mind at the moment. I had a lot bigger things to worry about.

As we walked through the hallways, I caught sight of my reflection in the windows with the grey, form-fitting jumpsuit bearing a logo that said "Cerberus," and hot damn if I didn't look just like Sigourney Weaver after all.


	2. Chapter 2

It took something like two hours of speaking to the older lady, Dr. Chakwas. She'd asked a lot of questions about my past, and I essentially told her my life story. She asked about a lot of world-wide events that had occurred within my lifetime, and periodically checked a glowing orange device on her wrist to see if I was correct. I always was.

"Commander Shepard, I just gave our guest a psych evaluation. Could you come in here?" she implored at the thing - she'd called it an omni-tool.

A few minutes later, Beard Guy came in.

"How is she?"

"It's the weirdest thing, Commander," the doctor shook her head. "She isn't crazy. She is in perfect mental health, but she is convinced she came from 2013. She even knows everything she should about that time period. It's like she time-traveled."

"Time-travel is impossible," Beard Guy replied flatly.

"Obviously. It's just... How else could she be totally sane, but still think she's from 200 years ago?"

Beard Guy - Shepard - stared at me intensely.

"Are you a spy?"

"If I were a spy, wouldn't I tell you no anyway?" I replied warily.

He shrugged at Dr. Chakwas.

"Good enough for me."

"Shepard, how are we going to deal with her? This is a war ship. If she thinks she came from 200 years ago, that means she thinks everyone she knew is dead. As far as she knows, she has no home. We can't just drop her off somewhere and let someone else deal with her."

"Then what are we supposed to do?" he huffed. "We're trying to fight the Collectors. Don't you think dropping her _anywhere_ is a greater kindness than forcing her to risk her life every day while we save the galaxy?"

Chakwas' face lit up. "I have an idea - what if we put up fliers with her picture on the Citadel and on the Extranet? That way if someone is trying to find her, they'll be able to get in contact with us. While we wait for that to happen, we can help her find a job and get herself an apartment on the Citadel, get some sort of psychologist to deal with whatever's going on in that head of hers."

Shepard frowned. "That still seems like a lot pf work to do. We all need to focus on the mission right now. Good of the many, remember? Maybe she doesn't find her family again, but at least she won't be abducted by the Collectors."

"I'm not leaving this poor thing on a strange planet. She has no idea what life is like, nor has she seen the other races of the galaxy. She needs guidance, and maybe you won't give it to her, but I will."

She put her arm around me protectively. I liked her. She was nicer than Beard Guy.

"We probably should have asked sooner, but given the circumstances... well, you were there. What's your name?"

"Iliana Thornton."

They both stared at me before exchanging a worried look.

"Definitely a spy," Shepard muttered.

"What? Even my name is wrong?" I grew irritated.

"I'll pull up an Extranet article for her to read," Chakwas murmured, clicking away at the omni-tool again. "That would be easier than trying to explain... oh, wow. That's..."

She looked up at me, then down at the omni-tool screen again.

"Shepard, look at this picture."

He peered at it. "What the hell - how can that be?"

"What's so fascinating?" I demanded.

Chakwas turned her arm so I could see the screen. The woman in the picture was in her mid-forties, a blank expression on her all-too-familiar face. Mom?

No, Mom had brown eyes. The woman in the picture had blue eyes like mine. Just exactly like mine. My body went cold.

"Is that supposed to be me?"

"I don't know what any of this is supposed to be," Chakwas sighed. "You look exactly like her. What year were you born in?"

"1994."

She clicked on her omni-tool again. "Yep, same birth year. But how... 200 years later, how could Iliana Thornton possibly be here?"

A brief silence. They were thoughtful, but I was totally lost.

"Cerberus," Shepard whispered suddenly.

She stared at him, mouth open. "_Yes._"

"They brought back Iliana Thornton."

"Oh my god, I can't believe it's really her."

I coughed awkwardly. "I have no idea what you guys are talking about."

"You... You are famous. You are the scientist who discovered Prothean technology on Earth and decoded them to vastly improve space flight technology for humans."

Chakwas sounded awed, but this really didn't help to explain much to me.

"But how did she end up in a geth base?" Shepard mused, frowning in concentration.

"It doesn't make any sense," Chakwas shook her head. "So they didn't say anything to you about her?"

Shepard grimaced. He almost looked guilty.

"When is the last time you checked your Extranet messages?" Chakwas asked suspiciously.

"Two weeks ago," he mumbled, turning heel and walking out, not unlike a scolded child.

"Oh, you have no idea how exciting this will be for everyone," Chakwas trilled to me. "They'll have so many questions to ask you about your work!"

"Uh, I don't even... Seriously, I work in a cell phone booth in the mall."

"But that was in your younger life. Later on, you discovered a Prothean ship that had crashed on Earth over 50,000 years ago. You examined it and extracted the drive core, and used it to give humans technology that would allow them to reach faster than light speeds. That's how they found the mass relays, which then introduced us to the other sentient species of the galaxy. You are the reason we are all here right now."

I stared at her blankly. This was starting to make sense, but at the same time, there was no way she could be right about any of that.

"What are mass relays and Prothean ships?"

"The Protheans are a dead race who were very technologically advanced, but died suddenly due to a galactic purge caused by an ancient race of sentient machines called the Reapers. Mass relays are structures built by the Protheans that create tunnels of virtually mass-free space, allowing ships to travel thousands of light-years in mere seconds."

This was all too much for me, but I tried to follow the strange logic anyway.

"Right. So, if I've already done all this stuff, how is it that I don't remember it?"

"Well, we can't be positive yet, but when Commander Shepard died two years ago, a corporation called Cerberus healed his body and reanimated him with lots of cybernetics - sorry, mechanical body parts. They brought him back from the dead, and gave him all his old memories and personality. We think that's sort of what they did to you."

"You think some company dug up the corpse of someone famous, brought it back to life, gave it some memories, and that resulting experiment is _me_?"

"Well, more or less."

"Then why don't I have memories of making these discoveries you said I did?"

She sat at her desk pensively. "I'm not sure. It doesn't make sense for them to equip you with memories of your childhood, but leave out the stuff that changed the course of history for the human race."

The door slid open and in walked Alien Guy.

"Chakwas, I think the new human sprained one of my mandibles. Can you have a look and see - oh, hi."

This time, after all the talk about other sentient species, I really looked at him. A real alien. He was covered in spikes, and beneath his armor was a skin that looked like a second armor. He looked dangerous, almost a bit frightening, and I'd gone and tugged on his face. We stood in awkward silence for a minute before we were interrupted by Chakwas' smirk.

"That fast, Garrus? The poor girl didn't even know where she was. I didn't realize you had a thing for humans."

Wait, was she actually implying - ?

"No!" the alien she'd called Garrus choked out. "Nothing like that! I didn't do anything to her."

"Yet you're sporting a sprained mandible?"

"She ah - seemed out of sorts. Walked over and - uh -"

"Sorry I messed up your face," I murmured, heat flooding my cheeks. I felt like such an idiot. My first contact with another sentient race, and I'd made a valiant effort to mutilate his face.

Chakwas roared with laughter. "Alright, it's none of my business what you two want to do. Garrus, take a seat. I want to look over her cybernetics and make sure everything's normal. Oh - I almost forgot. Allow me to re-introduce you to Iliana Thornton."

His eyes ran over me briefly, and for some reason this chilled me.

"Isn't that some sort of famous human?"

Chakwas nodded. Her eyes were lit up. "She's the one responsible for getting humans out of the Sol System. We think Cerberus dug her up and did to her what they did to Shepard. The only weird part is that she doesn't have memories of all the important work she did."

"Odd." He walked over to me and extended a - hand? Claw? - in what had to be an invitation for a handshake. I grasped the three digits and shook, feeling the rough texture of his skin on mine. The talons at the ends of his fingers looked dangerous, but he held them carefully away from my flesh. "Iliana Thornton, my name is Garrus Vakarian. Welcome to the Normandy, even if the sentiment is a bit belated."

He released my hand and sat on one of the cots as the doctor ushered me to do the same, poking and prodding at my limbs.

"Mhm, as I expected, you're almost entirely composed of cybernetics. Reinforced skeleton, skin weave, biotic amp, and I can only imagine what sort of upgrades they've done up here." She tapped my forehead lightly. "Your organs must be transplants, but I'm sure those are enhanced also considering the effort they've gone through with the rest of you. Looks like everything is functional, but I'd like to keep monitoring you for a few weeks to make sure."

She turned to Garrus, casting a wicked grin at the two of us.

"Now, let's get that mandible back to normal so the two of you can pick up where you left off."

Our mutual cries of protest were cut off by her evil laughter.

* * *

(A/N): So now you probably know it's not a SI, just an OC, despite the first-person narrative. What do you think so far? I'd love to hear some feedback. I'll be posting a poll on my profile asking what character, if any, should Iliana become romantically involved with.

Footnote: PM me if you have a suggestion for a romance with a different character and I might add it to the poll. NO, I will not add Blasto or the Elcor ambassador.

Elcor ambassador - "With great disappointment: Why doesn't anyone love me?"


	3. Chapter 3

I cringed as the syringe delved beneath his leathery skin and looked away. Needles always grossed me out. What was in the injection, I hadn't the slightest clue. When I looked back again, Garrus Vakarian was working his jaw, revealing wicked teeth. I fought back a shudder, trying not to imagine how much damage they could do to the soft flesh of a human.

"How's that?" Dr. Chakwas asked him, watching his movements patiently.

"Much better. I can move my face again."

"Yeah, sorry again," I mumbled, swinging my legs childishly off the side of the cot as I looked down in embarrassment.

His now-healed mandible twitched at me in what almost could have been a grin. "It's alright. I've had worse first-encounters with humans."

"Oh, save the post-makeout banter for later, you two," Chakwas rolled her eyes.

Just as I opened my mouth to retort that she was a perverted old woman, the door slid open to Beard Guy - Shepard - followed by Miranda, who looked ready to punch someone.

"Guess who hasn't checked his messages in two weeks?" she growled, shoving a guilty-looking Shepard further inside the room.

"So what's going on?" Chakwas asked, opening a drawer in her desk and digging around in its contents.

"This is _the_ Iliana Thornton, brought to life the same way I resurrected Shepard. At this point in her life, she is nineteen years old. She has no recollection of her scientific contributions."

"Yeah, we figured that part out already," Chakwas murmured, drawing a colorful bandage from the drawer and sticking it lightly to a seemingly-outraged Garrus' mandible.

Miranda scoffed at the interruption, but continued. "Cerberus sent her here over a week ago, but the ship was intercepted by geth forces. She was in a cryo-stasis chamber, which they must have forcibly pulled apart and removed her from, which is why she was comatose for so long. I guess they didn't know what to do with her - maybe were in the process of deciding - and that's why the Illusive Man had us target that geth ship. Of course, the part about a famous dead scientist being on-board apparently wasn't information intended for me."

She sounded offended, and I got the feeling that she was probably a bit self-important.

"And why go through the trouble to bring her back without her memories?" Garrus asked, trying to remove the bandage with his claw, which Chakwas slapped.

"The memories are hidden. Apparently Cerberus, and whoever hid them, thinks there's some highly valuable information in there that might be able to alter the fate of the galaxy. Our next mission is to find them and retrieve them. Without any leads whatsoever."

This time I understood what they were saying, but I still felt disconnected. It seemed impossible. There was no way they could be talking about me.

While Garrus, Shepard, and Miranda discussed potential places to start looking for the memories, Chakwas caught my eye and beamed at me.

"You're going to do some amazing things, young one."

Great, I thought grimly. Because there's not enough pressure on me already.

"That settles it, then," Shepard was saying. "We need to go to Illium and talk to Liara."

Garrus was giving me a look that I couldn't read. I looked back at him warily.

"What? Did I miss something?"

"No, no... I was just imagining Liara's expression when we tell her who you are." His dual-toned voice sounded almost amused.

Shepard cracked into a grin. "I can hear her now. 'By the Goddess!'"

"'It's the greatest scientific achievement of the century!' I just hope she doesn't dissect her on the spot," Garrus mused.

I paled. "_Dissect_?"

"A joke, of course," Garrus rushed to explain. "Liara would never really do that. At least, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't."

"Am I really that big of a deal?" I sounded pathetic to my own ears.

Shepard gave me a one-sided smile. "Well, your discoveries enabled us to explore other solar systems. That's how we found the first mass relay, and that's when we first encountered the turians. Otherwise we'd still be on Earth, would never have had the First Contact War, wouldn't even _know_ about the Counsil, let alone have a seat on it -"

"I still really don't understand."

I felt ridiculous. There was so much I had missed. I could barely fathom that I'd been dead for two hundred years and then brought back to life, like Frankenstein's monster. That I had changed history, that aliens existed, and that we were currently travelling through space faster than the speed of light all seemed like a strange, vivid dream.

Shepard was shrugging at Garrus. "You want to give her a history lesson?"

"I'm really not much of a teacher," Garrus replied hesitantly.

"EDI," Miranda called out, seemingly to the ceiling. "How much do you know about human history?"

A synthetic female voice responded, "I am proficient. What would you like to know, XO Lawson?"

"That's okay, really," I hurried, backing away. "I've absorbed a lot of new information today, and I'd like to think about all that for a bit."

Miranda shrugged, leaving. "It's up to you."

"Would you like to be alone for a while?" Chakwas offered, and I nodded in response.

"We don't really have any spare rooms on the ship, but I suppose she can bunk in the AI core," Shepard offered. "I'll grab a cot."

"See if you can find a few changes of clothes for her, too," Chakwas called after him as he departed the room.

Yeah, I definitely liked her.

"Thanks, the Sigourney Weaver look will probably get old after a while."

Garrus and Chakwas stared blankly at me.

"Really?" I demanded incredulously. "Garrus, I don't know where the hell you grew up, but since it's human culture, I guess I forgive you. But Chakwas -" I shook my head at her, "- I honestly can't believe you never saw Alien. Do you people even watch movies now?"

"Movies?" the doctor echoed. "We watch vids. Is that the same thing?"

"Give me five minutes on the Internet with one of those magic orange bracelets and I'll tell you."

"You mean the Extranet," she corrected with a small smile.

"Whatever, it's tech. I can figure it out."

She held up the device again, pressing a button on it. "Shepard, get Iliana a spare omni-tool too."

"I don't know if we have any spares," his voice replied.

"Then give her yours. God knows you were never even a half-decent engineer."

Silence followed her words.

"Let me see if I can find one," he grumbled back as Chakwas smirked at me.

"Shepard's promotion was definitely just a formality," Garrus observed with amusement.

Chakwas patted his shoulder fondly. "You may address me as 'Commander' if it pleases you."

I laughed along with them, feeling for the first time since I woke like I understood what was happening.

* * *

(A/N): I know, I know, my updates are taking forever. Life is hectic and I am in the process of moving. If you want more story faster, leave reviews and vote on my poll (on my profile) about who Iliana should be romantically involved with! The more feedback, the faster the updates. Ideas are appreciated and credited!

**EDIT:** The poll is all tied up! I'd like to get a tie-breaker before I post the next chater, so if you have an account, log in and vote! Thanks for the continued support.


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